Psalm 72:18 Blessed be the Lord, the God of Israel, who alone does wondrous things.
This is my birth story. James has been bugging me to get it finished. I have been rather busy. It is long, it is graphic, so don’t read it if you are easily grossed out or don’t like birth stories, or don’t have the time. But, if you do, I hope it is testimony to God’s grace in giving us strength to endure things we don’t typically have the capacity for, and for how He takes the weight of the curse and uses it to pour out blessings on us.
On Friday, 1-11-08, I was still not having any significant contractions, so I was starting to get a little nervous. [At this point, my wife's water had broken for the first time and she was "leaking" amniotic fluid for two days. Tasha's water NEVER breaks!--JH] After so many inductions, did my body really know how to get this baby out on its own? I called my midwife, Stephanie, in the morning. She assured me that she was not worried at all. She was headed over to meet a fellow homebirther and friend of her's for lunch who also
happens to be a chiropractor. She suggested I come along and see if her friend, Barbie, would give me an adjustment. And, this would give Stephanie a chance to check me and see how I was doing. I agreed to go over there, much to my Mom's chagrin, who didn't want me to leave the house.
I was so blessed with a wonderful lunch at Barbie's house! She gave me an adjustment that lasted about an hour. It was so nice to have attention poured on me. Not that I deserve it, or feel entitled to "me" time, but it was great. After the adjustment, tons more water came pouring out. So much so, that I made a mess all over her bathroom floor. (The fun never ends.) Stephanie also checked me and I had progressed some to 3cm and 80-90% effaced. I asked her about some herbal supplements called "black and blue cohosh" that people have been using for centuries to aid in getting labor started. She said she happened to have some out in the car. She advised me to go home and try the cohoshes or another go-round of castor oil. I wasn't eager to spend the night on the toilet, go figure, so I thought the cohoshes might be a nice change. But, there is always a trade off. You take the cohoshes by placing a dropperful under your tongue and holding it in your mouth for as long as you can. You alternate the two over 30 minutes, go on a brisk 30 minute walk, and then come back and do it again for another 30 minutes of yummy goodness. Anyway, the cohoshes burn my tongue like the devil and it was a reminder of all the burning that went on at the other end with the castor oil. Ahhh, feel the burn, baby.
If anyone knows the Buck's, [editor's note: Tasha's maiden name--JH] you know that we don't like to read directions. I mean, what is the point when you can simply figure it out for yourself? And, although I may be a Hussey, there is still enough Buck left in me to forego one little pesky instruction. What I missed is that you are supposed to swallow the cohosh after you hold it under your tongue. Well, for some reason I thought you spit it out. So, as you can imagine....if you don't follow directions, it doesn't usually work.
Needless to say, I went to bed pretty frustrated and even more anxiety-ridden. I woke up a little before 5:00 am and was struggling through some pretty intense fear. I decided to get up (so unlike me) and go downstairs and have some quiet time before God.
I called Stephanie around 7:00 am to let her know I was taking my last round of castor oil. By 8:30 am it was already doing its job. I started contracting around 10:00 am. I was feeling pretty sleepy from being up since 5:00 and then the having the castor oil clean me out. I told the kids I needed a nap and went to sleep for an hour and a half.
I woke up about 11:30 and came downstairs to have some lunch. I was contracting a little more strongly and regularly, but I was still not sure that this was it having had the false alarms with the castor oil before. I was tempted to call James and ask him to come home and set up the room. But, I was just not sure. After I ate, I was still so tired, and not feeling too great with the contractions. They were coming about 5 minutes apart, but they just weren’t strong enough. So, I went back to bed and laid down on my right side. I wasn’t planning on going back to sleep, but I just wanted to rest.
Around 12:15 pm, I was having a contraction and heard the oddest noise of all times come from inside my body. All I can say to describe it is that it was a loud “POP!” down around my pubic bone. It sounded like someone was snapping her fingers as loud as she could, but from the inside of my body. It didn’t hurt, but freaked me out. I called my midwife, Stephanie. She said that it sounded like the baby’s head had been hung up on my pubic bone and that it just snapped into place. While on the phone with her, I had another contraction like 2-3 minutes later vs. 5 minutes like before. And this one was totally different. The intensity level increased and I knew, at that point, “this was it”.
She told me to call James and then to call her back. So, at 12:19 I call James. No answer. 12:20...no answer. I called him like 6 times and, yeah, no answer. See, here’s the thing about James: he has phone issues. Phones tend to drop out of his pocket. He leaves them on the back of company work vans and drives away [editor's note: this happened ONCE, thank you!--JH]. It is just one of those things about him that make me crazy, but it is so uniquely him. All I can envision is that the phone has fallen out of his pocket into the van, and I just KNOW that he is going to miss the whole thing. I rush downstairs to try and search through his emails to locate the number of the guy who he is working for. I call 411. And still I can not get the #. Meanwhile, the contractions are getting stronger along with my hysteria. I am literally out of control. I tell the kids, “I HATE YOUR DAD RIGHT NOW! I am in labor and he is not answering his phone!” If you have ever seen a movie where the woman needs to be slapped to regain her control, well, that was me.
Anyway, 20 minutes after the 1st call, I call him again and he answers. Let me try and describe it. I was screaming and crying like a freak, “I have been trying to call you and you didn’t answer! I am in labor! COME HOME NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” [Editor's note: I had no idea what in the world she said. I just knew it wasn't good and my ears were ringing.--JH] He says that after all these weeks of worrying and being stressed, a peace came over him. I am glad that all it takes is a little hysteria on my end to make him feel peaceful.
Thankfully, the babies were napping. So, the girls and I go upstairs and start setting up the room. In between contractions, I am helping the girls unroll plastic for the floor, getting the bed set up, and pumping up the birthing pool. One funny thing was that Jacob was downstairs vacuuming. I knew I was in labor when my son is vacuuming the downstairs. At some point James came in and I was so glad to see him. He gets to work on the pool.
Around 1:15 Stephanie and her apprentice, Becky, come in. They get the rest of the stuff set up. I am basically laboring in the bathroom watching everything and it is just getting more and more intense. I decided to change positions, so I went and laid on the bed. All I can think of is, "I just have got to get into that pool!" As I am watching the steaming hot water fill up the birth pool, I notice at approximately the same time James does, that water is pouring out onto the bedroom floor. Apparently, there is a drain in the pool that needs to be plugged before filling it with water. I could of cared less about the water on the floor because all I could think was, "My precious hot water is draining out!" Of course, at this point we ran out of hot water.
Soooo, the girls start boiling water in every available pot and kettle. Around 1:50 I finally got into the pool. It was immediately soothing. It took the edge off of the contractions. I personally don’t think that I could have done it without the aid of the water. The only position that I could find that was comfortable (well, relatively speaking) was to be on my knees with my arms hanging out over the side of the pool and my head resting on the side of the pool.
I have always heard women bemoan the dreaded “back labor”. I haven’t ever really understood why it is so bad. Well, here’s the "down low" for all of you who have been wondering the same thing: It isn’t as if you don’t have the regular pain from contractions in your belly. Back labor is "pain mathematics:" it is a constant and intense pain in addition to the painful contractions, that is focused in your back and never goes away. Back labor only intensifies with each contraction. There is no reprieve in this type of labor. It is all that they say it is and more.
James, who thinks he didn’t do much (but was wonderful and amazing and everything I needed him to be), pushed on my back with all of his strength through each contraction. Even with all of that counterpressure, it still was only slightly effective at relieving any of that intense back pain. He also was putting cold washcloths on my back in between contractions and on my forehead. I was so hot they were having to cool each washcloth down by putting it into a bowl of ice water.
During most of the last part of it, I felt like I needed to throw up. Thankfully, I never did. At one point, probably close to 2:30, the last of the castor oil decided to rear its ugly head and I had to get up out of the pool and handle it. After that episode, I was certain I didn’t want to leave that pool again!
Jonah says that he woke up from his nap because he heard me screaming. I will say that I was not "screaming" per se, but the loudness of my moaning must’ve been enough to wake him. [Editor's note: she never screams during labor, just moans.--JH] He came into the room and saw me for a few minutes and then went downstairs to be with “the guys”, as he calls his siblings. I think Jamesyn was already up and downstairs at this point.
At 3:30, I started to feel some pressure with each contraction. Stephanie asked to check me. I hadn’t wanted her to check me because I was too scared that I wouldn’t be far enough along and would be utterly discouraged. After checking me, she said that I had "a small lip" (of cervix) and that I needed to "blow through some contractions". (Well, we later found out that this description was actually a lie! I didn’t have a "cervical lip," meaning I was fully dilated with just a small little lip remaining, in truth I was only at a 7. Later she told us that she knew how discouraged I would be if she told me. Thank God she didn’t.) So, she asked me to change positions and lay on my right side and blow rather than push through 4 contractions, then she wanted me to switch to my left side and do the same thing, then she wanted me to get up and go to the bathroom to pee. Well, what I knew and the rest of 'em didn’t, was that I was not going to be alive after 8 more contractions so I didn’t have to worry about getting up and going pee! [Editor's note: how hilarious.--JH]
So, I blew through 4 laying on my right side. Now, when I say “blew” don’t get the impression that I was gently and quietly blowing. No, way! It was all I could do to keep focused on the blowing. I was in such incredible pain at this point. I really thought that I was not going to make it through 8 contractions and remember the whole time I am utterly nauseous. Then I turned onto my left and worked through 2 more contractions, at which point, I felt Jessica start to descend through my birth canal. That was the moment that I did start to lose control. James said I "flailed" my arms about. I did exactly that. I was in a weird position and I had nothing to grab onto and it was the worst and most painful experience ever. I felt like I might rip in half. I started to push and it hurt so much. I internally started to recoil at the thought of pushing some more. I could just feel all of my muscles tensing up against it.
I could hear all of them telling me to reach down and feel my baby’s head. I did, and that was amazing! But, I expected her head to be out. She was just crowning! I was scared because I knew the hard part was still ahead of me. And, even though I wanted to not push, your body has a way of overpowering you when a ten pound baby is at your door. So, I pushed and out came her head. One more, and finally out came the rest of her. Sweet relief!!!!!!!
Stephanie grabbed her and handed her to me. She was instantly crying and covered in vernix. [Ed. note, think of this as "baby cheese." Jessica looked like someone ordered "extra cheese."--JH] She had so much black hair, more than any of our other babies. Her one minute apgar was 9 and so was her 5 minute. Her little face was all bruised up and her eyes were swollen. She got a good squeeze on the way out. In fact, her eyes were so swollen that she couldn’t fully open them until the next day.
She was born at 3:47 pm. So, I went from 7cm at 3:30 to giving birth at 3:47. Pretty fast! And, I was right, there was no way I would make it through 8 more contractions.
As soon as she came out, the kids heard her cries and all ran up to see her. It was a beautiful moment that was so natural and wonderful to share with all of our children. The kids were so excited and happy that she was born and that we were both okay. Jordyn and Julienne got busy making phone calls to family and friends and James and I enjoyed admiring our new blessing.
About 15 minutes after she was born, I started to nurse her. She had no trouble latching on at all. In fact, she continued to nurse the 1st 24 hours of her life practically, which caused my milk to come in within a day, the fastest ever.
I decided to take a bath and use some of the herbs that I had bought to put in the bath designed to help heal the perineum after birth. The wonderful thing is that I had no tearing and no swelling at all. Meanwhile, they measured, weighed and cleaned her up. Everything was done right in front of me. She was never once out of my sight. It was wonderful. When I was done, Jessica and I climbed into my bed. The midwives checked me out and gave us a very informative [graphic!--JH] lesson on the placenta. James did take pictures of it, but I will spare you the exposure. Once that was done, they were able to go home.
We all ate pizza in our bedroom and took turns holding Jessica and marveled over what had happened. James read Psalm 76:1 over her. Although, by this point we were pretty tired and cranky, it was still beautiful to watch a father washing his newest gift with the Word.
So, there you have it in all of its gory glory! So many people have asked me, “Would you do it again?” Well, maybe that will be the topic of another post. For now, I am so thankful that I did it this time. I don’t regret a thing. It was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. I have never felt more loved or cared for, by God, my husband, and my children as I did that day. Nor have I ever been more thankful that I could rightly attribute all of the glory to God and not myself.
Genesis 3:16 tells Eve that her daughters' pain in childbirth will be "greatly increased" as a result of her disobedience. He wasn’t exaggerating!! It is weird to think that I did endure the full measure of that curse on 1-12-08. But, as is with the nature of God, He redeems the curse by providing a blessing.
Jessica Lauryn Hussey, blessed gift from God
Born at home in the water, 1-12-08
10 lbs 1 oz
21 ¾ inches
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